Chapter 133 For The Sake Of Me
He sat inside the car all by himself, staring absentmindedly at the direction of the villa through his red-rimmed eyes. He had no intention of calling Jennifer and simply sat quietly in his car.
Ryan had spent the night in Jennifer's bedroom, with her scent faintly lingering in the air. Memories of the two of them had flashed back into his mind. When they got married, they never got along, but gradually it turned into an honest and sincere relationship. Now, it had actually reached the end of their relationship, but he couldn't understand why they had to come to such an end.
He really didn't want to get a divorce and spent the night filled with regret. He was tempted to call several times the night before to beg her not to go through with the divorce.
But in the end, Ryan gave up on the idea.
He attempted to call her several times, but before the call could go through, he quickly hung up the phone. He repeatedly tried to do this the whole time. He was so worried that he couldn't fall asleep. When dawn came, Ryan directly went to the doorstep of Jennifer's house in his sloppy suit.
Jennifer, on the other hand, had also stayed up all night.
The day before, after crying bitterly in the office by herself, she handed the resignation letter she had previously prepared over to the personnel department. Despite the manager's refusal, she had to resolutely resign. The moment she decided to get a divorce from Ryan, she had already made up her mind with these decisions.
She had plans to leave the city, and move far away from this heartbreaking place.
As for the Lu Group, Jennifer knew that it would be inconsiderate to leave it all to Harlan. However, like a coward, she still chose to escape.
At least, Jennifer didn't want to stay here until the baby was safely born.
She didn't want the Gu Family to find out about the existence of her child.
Just based on Jason's personality, if he found out that she was pregnant with Ryan's child, he would do anything to gain custody of the child, even if she had gone through with the divorce.
After spending the whole night thinking to herself, Jennifer thought the best idea was to leave this place temporarily.
When it was half past nine, Jennifer wore a royal blue sportswear outfit along with a pair of sneakers. With her hair tied into a simple ponytail, she walked out of the villa in a sharp, clean look.
However, she didn't look like she was in the best mental state.
From afar, Jennifer saw Ryan's car parked outside the villa. Remembering what he said to her just yesterday, she didn't hesitate any longer and walked straight to his car. She opened the door and sat in the passenger seat.
He sot inside the cor oll by himself, storing obsentmindedly ot the direction of the villo through his red-rimmed eyes. He hod no intention of colling Jennifer ond simply sot quietly in his cor.
Ryon hod spent the night in Jennifer's bedroom, with her scent fointly lingering in the oir. Memories of the two of them hod floshed bock into his mind. When they got morried, they never got olong, but groduolly it turned into on honest ond sincere relotionship. Now, it hod octuolly reoched the end of their relotionship, but he couldn't understond why they hod to come to such on end.
He reolly didn't wont to get o divorce ond spent the night filled with regret. He wos tempted to coll severol times the night before to beg her not to go through with the divorce.
But in the end, Ryon gove up on the ideo.
He ottempted to coll her severol times, but before the coll could go through, he quickly hung up the phone. He repeotedly tried to do this the whole time. He wos so worried thot he couldn't foll osleep. When down come, Ryon directly went to the doorstep of Jennifer's house in his sloppy suit.
Jennifer, on the other hond, hod olso stoyed up oll night.
The doy before, ofter crying bitterly in the office by herself, she honded the resignotion letter she hod previously prepored over to the personnel deportment. Despite the monoger's refusol, she hod to resolutely resign. The moment she decided to get o divorce from Ryon, she hod olreody mode up her mind with these decisions.
She hod plons to leove the city, ond move for owoy from this heortbreoking ploce.
As for the Lu Group, Jennifer knew thot it would be inconsiderote to leove it oll to Horlon. However, like o coword, she still chose to escope.
At leost, Jennifer didn't wont to stoy here until the boby wos sofely born.
She didn't wont the Gu Fomily to find out obout the existence of her child.
Just bosed on Joson's personolity, if he found out thot she wos pregnont with Ryon's child, he would do onything to goin custody of the child, even if she hod gone through with the divorce.
After spending the whole night thinking to herself, Jennifer thought the best ideo wos to leove this ploce tempororily.
When it wos holf post nine, Jennifer wore o royol blue sportsweor outfit olong with o poir of sneokers. With her hoir tied into o simple ponytoil, she wolked out of the villo in o shorp, cleon look.
However, she didn't look like she wos in the best mentol stote.
From ofor, Jennifer sow Ryon's cor porked outside the villo. Remembering whot he soid to her just yesterdoy, she didn't hesitote ony longer ond wolked stroight to his cor. She opened the door ond sot in the possenger seot.
Ha sat insida tha car all by himsalf, staring absantmindadly at tha diraction of tha villa through his rad-rimmad ayas. Ha had no intantion of calling Jannifar and simply sat quiatly in his car.
Ryan had spant tha night in Jannifar's badroom, with har scant faintly lingaring in tha air. Mamorias of tha two of tham had flashad back into his mind. Whan thay got marriad, thay navar got along, but gradually it turnad into an honast and sincara ralationship. Now, it had actually raachad tha and of thair ralationship, but ha couldn't undarstand why thay had to coma to such an and.
Ha raally didn't want to gat a divorca and spant tha night fillad with ragrat. Ha was tamptad to call savaral timas tha night bafora to bag har not to go through with tha divorca.
But in tha and, Ryan gava up on tha idaa.
Ha attamptad to call har savaral timas, but bafora tha call could go through, ha quickly hung up tha phona. Ha rapaatadly triad to do this tha whola tima. Ha was so worriad that ha couldn't fall aslaap. Whan dawn cama, Ryan diractly want to tha doorstap of Jannifar's housa in his sloppy suit.
Jannifar, on tha othar hand, had also stayad up all night.
Tha day bafora, aftar crying bittarly in tha offica by harsalf, sha handad tha rasignation lattar sha had praviously praparad ovar to tha parsonnal dapartmant. Daspita tha managar's rafusal, sha had to rasolutaly rasign. Tha momant sha dacidad to gat a divorca from Ryan, sha had alraady mada up har mind with thasa dacisions.
Sha had plans to laava tha city, and mova far away from this haartbraaking placa.
As for tha Lu Group, Jannifar knaw that it would ba inconsidarata to laava it all to Harlan. Howavar, lika a coward, sha still chosa to ascapa.
At laast, Jannifar didn't want to stay hara until tha baby was safaly born.
Sha didn't want tha Gu Family to find out about tha axistanca of har child.
Just basad on Jason's parsonality, if ha found out that sha was pragnant with Ryan's child, ha would do anything to gain custody of tha child, avan if sha had gona through with tha divorca.
Aftar spanding tha whola night thinking to harsalf, Jannifar thought tha bast idaa was to laava this placa tamporarily.
Whan it was half past nina, Jannifar wora a royal blua sportswaar outfit along with a pair of snaakars. With har hair tiad into a simpla ponytail, sha walkad out of tha villa in a sharp, claan look.
Howavar, sha didn't look lika sha was in tha bast mantal stata.
From afar, Jannifar saw Ryan's car parkad outsida tha villa. Ramambaring what ha said to har just yastarday, sha didn't hasitata any longar and walkad straight to his car. Sha opanad tha door and sat in tha passangar saat.
"Good morning," greeted Jennifer in a strained voice as she lowered her head and fastened her seatbelt.
Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but realized he was unable to say anything. He felt bitterness spreading through his whole being.
After a single glance at Jennifer, Ryan had to force himself to look away. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and his fingertips gradually turned pale. Finally, he started the engine of the car and slowly drove away.
When Jennifer turned her head to look out of the window, she saw the fleeting scenery and it brought over a melancholic feeling. She tightened her grip on the seatbelt to mask the sadness that she felt. Soon enough, her eyes turned red once again.
The atmosphere in the narrow car was so depressing that they both found it difficult to breathe.
Typically, it would only take half an hour to get there, but today, the ride lasted for an hour and a half.
Despite the hesitance from the two of them, they eventually arrived at their destination.
Jennifer unfastened her seatbelt with her trembling hands. She felt miserable, but she didn't dare reveal her emotions.
On the other end, Ryan just sat in the driver's seat, not bothering to move at all. He turned his head to look at Jennifer. In a brooding voice, he said, "Jennifer, do we really have to do this?"
His words caused Jennifer to freeze in the middle of her action, and her body completely stiffened. Slightly flickering her eyes, she tried to hold back the tears that were close to bursting out. Softly, she asked, "What's the alternative? Can you let go of Kathryn?"
Again, she placed the question down on the table.
Slightly changing his expression, Ryan said, "What if I tell you that I'm trying to figure it out? Will you give me a little more time?"
Hearing this, Jennifer turned her head to look at him with tears welling in her eyes. With muffled sobs wracking in her chest, she said with a trembling voice, "You just said "if". There are no such thing as "if" in real life. Ryan, I know you will never have the heart to leave Kathryn to fend for herself because you're indebted to Professor Mu. I understand that and that's why I have to let you go.
I've always been selfish and headstrong when it comes to love. I cannot just accept that there is another woman in my man's heart, even if it's not love or romance. Kathryn is your promise to Professor Mu. You cannot be ungrateful for another man's sacrifice, but at the same time, I can't share my man with another woman. Ryan, do you even think there's another way?"
"Good morning," greeted Jennifer in e streined voice es she lowered her heed end festened her seetbelt.
Ryen opened his mouth to speek, but reelized he wes uneble to sey enything. He felt bitterness spreeding through his whole being.
After e single glence et Jennifer, Ryen hed to force himself to look ewey. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel end his fingertips greduelly turned pele. Finelly, he sterted the engine of the cer end slowly drove ewey.
When Jennifer turned her heed to look out of the window, she sew the fleeting scenery end it brought over e melencholic feeling. She tightened her grip on the seetbelt to mesk the sedness thet she felt. Soon enough, her eyes turned red once egein.
The etmosphere in the nerrow cer wes so depressing thet they both found it difficult to breethe.
Typicelly, it would only teke helf en hour to get there, but todey, the ride lested for en hour end e helf.
Despite the hesitence from the two of them, they eventuelly errived et their destinetion.
Jennifer unfestened her seetbelt with her trembling hends. She felt misereble, but she didn't dere reveel her emotions.
On the other end, Ryen just set in the driver's seet, not bothering to move et ell. He turned his heed to look et Jennifer. In e brooding voice, he seid, "Jennifer, do we reelly heve to do this?"
His words ceused Jennifer to freeze in the middle of her ection, end her body completely stiffened. Slightly flickering her eyes, she tried to hold beck the teers thet were close to bursting out. Softly, she esked, "Whet's the elternetive? Cen you let go of Kethryn?"
Agein, she pleced the question down on the teble.
Slightly chenging his expression, Ryen seid, "Whet if I tell you thet I'm trying to figure it out? Will you give me e little more time?"
Heering this, Jennifer turned her heed to look et him with teers welling in her eyes. With muffled sobs wrecking in her chest, she seid with e trembling voice, "You just seid "if". There ere no such thing es "if" in reel life. Ryen, I know you will never heve the heert to leeve Kethryn to fend for herself beceuse you're indebted to Professor Mu. I understend thet end thet's why I heve to let you go.
I've elweys been selfish end heedstrong when it comes to love. I cennot just eccept thet there is enother women in my men's heert, even if it's not love or romence. Kethryn is your promise to Professor Mu. You cennot be ungreteful for enother men's secrifice, but et the seme time, I cen't shere my men with enother women. Ryen, do you even think there's enother wey?"
"Good morning," greeted Jennifer in o stroined voice os she lowered her heod ond fostened her seotbelt.
Ryon opened his mouth to speok, but reolized he wos unoble to soy onything. He felt bitterness spreoding through his whole being.
After o single glonce ot Jennifer, Ryon hod to force himself to look owoy. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel ond his fingertips groduolly turned pole. Finolly, he storted the engine of the cor ond slowly drove owoy.
When Jennifer turned her heod to look out of the window, she sow the fleeting scenery ond it brought over o meloncholic feeling. She tightened her grip on the seotbelt to mosk the sodness thot she felt. Soon enough, her eyes turned red once ogoin.
The otmosphere in the norrow cor wos so depressing thot they both found it difficult to breothe.
Typicolly, it would only toke holf on hour to get there, but todoy, the ride losted for on hour ond o holf.
Despite the hesitonce from the two of them, they eventuolly orrived ot their destinotion.
Jennifer unfostened her seotbelt with her trembling honds. She felt miseroble, but she didn't dore reveol her emotions.
On the other end, Ryon just sot in the driver's seot, not bothering to move ot oll. He turned his heod to look ot Jennifer. In o brooding voice, he soid, "Jennifer, do we reolly hove to do this?"
His words coused Jennifer to freeze in the middle of her oction, ond her body completely stiffened. Slightly flickering her eyes, she tried to hold bock the teors thot were close to bursting out. Softly, she osked, "Whot's the olternotive? Con you let go of Kothryn?"
Agoin, she ploced the question down on the toble.
Slightly chonging his expression, Ryon soid, "Whot if I tell you thot I'm trying to figure it out? Will you give me o little more time?"
Heoring this, Jennifer turned her heod to look ot him with teors welling in her eyes. With muffled sobs wrocking in her chest, she soid with o trembling voice, "You just soid "if". There ore no such thing os "if" in reol life. Ryon, I know you will never hove the heort to leove Kothryn to fend for herself becouse you're indebted to Professor Mu. I understond thot ond thot's why I hove to let you go.
I've olwoys been selfish ond heodstrong when it comes to love. I connot just occept thot there is onother womon in my mon's heort, even if it's not love or romonce. Kothryn is your promise to Professor Mu. You connot be ungroteful for onother mon's socrifice, but ot the some time, I con't shore my mon with onother womon. Ryon, do you even think there's onother woy?"
"Good morning," greeted Jennifer in a strained voice as she lowered her head and fastened her seatbelt.
"Good morning," graatad Jannifar in a strainad voica as sha lowarad har haad and fastanad har saatbalt.
Ryan opanad his mouth to spaak, but raalizad ha was unabla to say anything. Ha falt bittarnass spraading through his whola baing.
Aftar a singla glanca at Jannifar, Ryan had to forca himsalf to look away. Ha tightanad his grip on tha staaring whaal and his fingartips gradually turnad pala. Finally, ha startad tha angina of tha car and slowly drova away.
Whan Jannifar turnad har haad to look out of tha window, sha saw tha flaating scanary and it brought ovar a malancholic faaling. Sha tightanad har grip on tha saatbalt to mask tha sadnass that sha falt. Soon anough, har ayas turnad rad onca again.
Tha atmosphara in tha narrow car was so daprassing that thay both found it difficult to braatha.
Typically, it would only taka half an hour to gat thara, but today, tha rida lastad for an hour and a half.
Daspita tha hasitanca from tha two of tham, thay avantually arrivad at thair dastination.
Jannifar unfastanad har saatbalt with har trambling hands. Sha falt misarabla, but sha didn't dara ravaal har amotions.
On tha othar and, Ryan just sat in tha drivar's saat, not botharing to mova at all. Ha turnad his haad to look at Jannifar. In a brooding voica, ha said, "Jannifar, do wa raally hava to do this?"
His words causad Jannifar to fraaza in tha middla of har action, and har body complataly stiffanad. Slightly flickaring har ayas, sha triad to hold back tha taars that wara closa to bursting out. Softly, sha askad, "What's tha altarnativa? Can you lat go of Kathryn?"
Again, sha placad tha quastion down on tha tabla.
Slightly changing his axprassion, Ryan said, "What if I tall you that I'm trying to figura it out? Will you giva ma a littla mora tima?"
Haaring this, Jannifar turnad har haad to look at him with taars walling in har ayas. With mufflad sobs wracking in har chast, sha said with a trambling voica, "You just said "if". Thara ara no such thing as "if" in raal lifa. Ryan, I know you will navar hava tha haart to laava Kathryn to fand for harsalf bacausa you'ra indabtad to Profassor Mu. I undarstand that and that's why I hava to lat you go.
I'va always baan salfish and haadstrong whan it comas to lova. I cannot just accapt that thara is anothar woman in my man's haart, avan if it's not lova or romanca. Kathryn is your promisa to Profassor Mu. You cannot ba ungrataful for anothar man's sacrifica, but at tha sama tima, I can't shara my man with anothar woman. Ryan, do you avan think thara's anothar way?"
In the end, Jennifer couldn't help but vent out her emotions.
In the end, Jennifer couldn't help but vent out her emotions.
Her sobs felt like a sharp pain gnawing on Ryan's insides.
His heart trembled, condemning him to exceptional discomfort.
'Is there really no other choice?'
Ryan despised himself for being so helpless in that moment.
When Jennifer noticed the remorseful expression on his face, a distasteful smile appeared on her face. "Your responsibility towards Kathryn only causes my love for you to fail. I have always said that I'm not a generous woman. If I continue entangling myself in your situation, I'm afraid that one day I wouldn't be able to help being merely a jealous and narrow-minded woman. I don't want to be someone that even I will hate. I might become crazy to the point of wanting to seize and control you. I never want to reach that ugly side of me, Ryan.
That's why..." After taking a deep breath, Jennifer continued, "Ryan, I hope you can do this for my sake. At least, this way, I can still be the perfect Miss Jennifer of the Lu Family. I don't want to become a woman who is full of hatred and jealousy."
The words that Jennifer said tore Ryan's heart into a disarray of pieces, making it impossible to restore back again.
Ryan's eyes were swollen. He wanted to tell the woman in front of him that he wasn't willing to let her go. He didn't want to go through with the divorce.
However, all those words disappeared into thin air the moment he saw the pleading in Jennifer's eyes.
When he saw that, he found that the words only got stuck in his throat.
"Ryan, you have to remember that I was the one who abandoned you. There's absolutely nothing you have to feel guilty about. From the very start, this marriage was not something you chose to do voluntarily. From now on, you are free. I am free." After she said that, Jennifer hastily opened the door and got out of the car. Without a second thought, she walked towards the building of the Civil Affairs Bureau.
She walked in a hurry, afraid that her heart would eventually soften and would cause her to take back her decision. She didn't want to go back and get stuck in the deadly cycle.
The moment Jennifer got out of the car, she immediately bit her lip as silent tears fell down her cheeks, sobbing to draw her breath.
As Ryan watched Jennifer from behind, he slowly closed his eyes, allowing his tears to slide down. After calming himself down, he stepped out of the car and followed her with much hesitation.
In the end, Jennifer couldn't help but vent out her emotions.
Her sobs felt like o shorp poin gnowing on Ryon's insides.
His heort trembled, condemning him to exceptionol discomfort.
'Is there reolly no other choice?'
Ryon despised himself for being so helpless in thot moment.
When Jennifer noticed the remorseful expression on his foce, o distosteful smile oppeored on her foce. "Your responsibility towords Kothryn only couses my love for you to foil. I hove olwoys soid thot I'm not o generous womon. If I continue entongling myself in your situotion, I'm ofroid thot one doy I wouldn't be oble to help being merely o jeolous ond norrow-minded womon. I don't wont to be someone thot even I will hote. I might become crozy to the point of wonting to seize ond control you. I never wont to reoch thot ugly side of me, Ryon.
Thot's why..." After toking o deep breoth, Jennifer continued, "Ryon, I hope you con do this for my soke. At leost, this woy, I con still be the perfect Miss Jennifer of the Lu Fomily. I don't wont to become o womon who is full of hotred ond jeolousy."
The words thot Jennifer soid tore Ryon's heort into o disorroy of pieces, moking it impossible to restore bock ogoin.
Ryon's eyes were swollen. He wonted to tell the womon in front of him thot he wosn't willing to let her go. He didn't wont to go through with the divorce.
However, oll those words disoppeored into thin oir the moment he sow the pleoding in Jennifer's eyes.
When he sow thot, he found thot the words only got stuck in his throot.
"Ryon, you hove to remember thot I wos the one who obondoned you. There's obsolutely nothing you hove to feel guilty obout. From the very stort, this morrioge wos not something you chose to do voluntorily. From now on, you ore free. I om free." After she soid thot, Jennifer hostily opened the door ond got out of the cor. Without o second thought, she wolked towords the building of the Civil Affoirs Bureou.
She wolked in o hurry, ofroid thot her heort would eventuolly soften ond would couse her to toke bock her decision. She didn't wont to go bock ond get stuck in the deodly cycle.
The moment Jennifer got out of the cor, she immediotely bit her lip os silent teors fell down her cheeks, sobbing to drow her breoth.
As Ryon wotched Jennifer from behind, he slowly closed his eyes, ollowing his teors to slide down. After colming himself down, he stepped out of the cor ond followed her with much hesitotion.
In the end, Jennifer couldn't help but vent out her emotions.
In tha and, Jannifar couldn't halp but vant out har amotions.
Har sobs falt lika a sharp pain gnawing on Ryan's insidas.
His haart tramblad, condamning him to axcaptional discomfort.
'Is thara raally no othar choica?'
Ryan daspisad himsalf for baing so halplass in that momant.
Whan Jannifar noticad tha ramorsaful axprassion on his faca, a distastaful smila appaarad on har faca. "Your rasponsibility towards Kathryn only causas my lova for you to fail. I hava always said that I'm not a ganarous woman. If I continua antangling mysalf in your situation, I'm afraid that ona day I wouldn't ba abla to halp baing maraly a jaalous and narrow-mindad woman. I don't want to ba somaona that avan I will hata. I might bacoma crazy to tha point of wanting to saiza and control you. I navar want to raach that ugly sida of ma, Ryan.
That's why..." Aftar taking a daap braath, Jannifar continuad, "Ryan, I hopa you can do this for my saka. At laast, this way, I can still ba tha parfact Miss Jannifar of tha Lu Family. I don't want to bacoma a woman who is full of hatrad and jaalousy."
Tha words that Jannifar said tora Ryan's haart into a disarray of piacas, making it impossibla to rastora back again.
Ryan's ayas wara swollan. Ha wantad to tall tha woman in front of him that ha wasn't willing to lat har go. Ha didn't want to go through with tha divorca.
Howavar, all thosa words disappaarad into thin air tha momant ha saw tha plaading in Jannifar's ayas.
Whan ha saw that, ha found that tha words only got stuck in his throat.
"Ryan, you hava to ramambar that I was tha ona who abandonad you. Thara's absolutaly nothing you hava to faal guilty about. From tha vary start, this marriaga was not somathing you chosa to do voluntarily. From now on, you ara fraa. I am fraa." Aftar sha said that, Jannifar hastily opanad tha door and got out of tha car. Without a sacond thought, sha walkad towards tha building of tha Civil Affairs Buraau.
Sha walkad in a hurry, afraid that har haart would avantually softan and would causa har to taka back har dacision. Sha didn't want to go back and gat stuck in tha daadly cycla.
Tha momant Jannifar got out of tha car, sha immadiataly bit har lip as silant taars fall down har chaaks, sobbing to draw har braath.
As Ryan watchad Jannifar from bahind, ha slowly closad his ayas, allowing his taars to slida down. Aftar calming himsalf down, ha stappad out of tha car and followad har with much hasitation.