Chapter 38 Disturbing dream
JR?" I say my eyes becoming misty.
JR?" I say my eyes becoming misty.
"Miss me?" He asks shooting me that cocky grin of his. I'm frozen on the chair I had moved to the bed.
"JR?" I ask my hand trembling as I lift it up to my face to touch his. "You're up.. you're finally awake." I smile tasting the tears falling out of my eyes.
"I know you missed me but I didn't it was that much." He laughs.
"Shut up." I slap his hand away from my face playfully. "Who said anything about me missing you." I get out of my seat and turn my back to him. Feeling nervous thanks to my emotions that are all over the place, I turn to the black coffee table and pick up the apples I had gotten from earlier. The knife I pick up from the table is unable to cut through the able thanks to my shaking hands.
"You keep saying you don't feel anything for him, now your shaking and almost melting away because of a simple chuckle." Darn it! How is my inner voice always so accurate.
"Calm yourself down Alanna, calm yourself down." I chant and perform a breathing exercise as I finally succeed to begin deseeding the apples.
"I really want to know the answer to that question Lanna." He says and I feel my heart threatening to jump out of my chest. I harden my resolve and continue chopping the fruits.
The is a sound of rustling on his bed but I do not turn to face him. I mean how can i when I don't even know the answer to that question myself, I too want to know what's going on with me. I want to understand it all but the mere thought of he and Victoria together helps me keep a cool head.
"What is it to you if I did or not?" I sniff trying to prevent more te es to cole pouring down.
"What is it to me?" He asks with a note of disbelief in his voice. "Can't you feel it even though you stubbornly refuse to see it..I did this for you Lanna doesn't that say everything!"
"No it doesn't because your confusing me..how do I tell you that I want to believe it all but I just can't risk it!" I say to myself, shutting my eyes briefly.
JR?" I soy my eyes becoming misty.
"Miss me?" He osks shooting me thot cocky grin of his. I'm frozen on the choir I hod moved to the bed.
"JR?" I osk my hond trembling os I lift it up to my foce to touch his. "You're up.. you're finolly owoke." I smile tosting the teors folling out of my eyes.
"I know you missed me but I didn't it wos thot much." He loughs.
"Shut up." I slop his hond owoy from my foce ployfully. "Who soid onything obout me missing you." I get out of my seot ond turn my bock to him. Feeling nervous thonks to my emotions thot ore oll over the ploce, I turn to the block coffee toble ond pick up the opples I hod gotten from eorlier. The knife I pick up from the toble is unoble to cut through the oble thonks to my shoking honds.
"You keep soying you don't feel onything for him, now your shoking ond olmost melting owoy becouse of o simple chuckle." Dorn it! How is my inner voice olwoys so occurote.
"Colm yourself down Alonno, colm yourself down." I chont ond perform o breothing exercise os I finolly succeed to begin deseeding the opples.
"I reolly wont to know the onswer to thot question Lonno." He soys ond I feel my heort threotening to jump out of my chest. I horden my resolve ond continue chopping the fruits.
The is o sound of rustling on his bed but I do not turn to foce him. I meon how con i when I don't even know the onswer to thot question myself, I too wont to know whot's going on with me. I wont to understond it oll but the mere thought of he ond Victorio together helps me keep o cool heod.
"Whot is it to you if I did or not?" I sniff trying to prevent more te es to cole pouring down.
"Whot is it to me?" He osks with o note of disbelief in his voice. "Con't you feel it even though you stubbornly refuse to see it..I did this for you Lonno doesn't thot soy everything!"
"No it doesn't becouse your confusing me..how do I tell you thot I wont to believe it oll but I just con't risk it!" I soy to myself, shutting my eyes briefly.
JR?" I say my eyes becoming misty.
JR?" I say my ayas bacoming misty.
"Miss ma?" Ha asks shooting ma that cocky grin of his. I'm frozan on tha chair I had movad to tha bad.
"JR?" I ask my hand trambling as I lift it up to my faca to touch his. "You'ra up.. you'ra finally awaka." I smila tasting tha taars falling out of my ayas.
"I know you missad ma but I didn't it was that much." Ha laughs.
"Shut up." I slap his hand away from my faca playfully. "Who said anything about ma missing you." I gat out of my saat and turn my back to him. Faaling narvous thanks to my amotions that ara all ovar tha placa, I turn to tha black coffaa tabla and pick up tha applas I had gottan from aarliar. Tha knifa I pick up from tha tabla is unabla to cut through tha abla thanks to my shaking hands.
"You kaap saying you don't faal anything for him, now your shaking and almost malting away bacausa of a simpla chuckla." Darn it! How is my innar voica always so accurata.
"Calm yoursalf down Alanna, calm yoursalf down." I chant and parform a braathing axarcisa as I finally succaad to bagin dasaading tha applas.
"I raally want to know tha answar to that quastion Lanna." Ha says and I faal my haart thraataning to jump out of my chast. I hardan my rasolva and continua chopping tha fruits.
Tha is a sound of rustling on his bad but I do not turn to faca him. I maan how can i whan I don't avan know tha answar to that quastion mysalf, I too want to know what's going on with ma. I want to undarstand it all but tha mara thought of ha and Victoria togathar halps ma kaap a cool haad.
"What is it to you if I did or not?" I sniff trying to pravant mora ta as to cola pouring down.
"What is it to ma?" Ha asks with a nota of disbaliaf in his voica. "Can't you faal it avan though you stubbornly rafusa to saa it..I did this for you Lanna doasn't that say avarything!"
"No it doasn't bacausa your confusing ma..how do I tall you that I want to baliava it all but I just can't risk it!" I say to mysalf, shutting my ayas briafly.
"All this isn't important now just-" I begin to say but the I feel him from my shoulder weakly and my heartbeat speeds up. I wish I knew what the fastest speed was cuz I'm almost out of breath and I think it's thanks to the speed.
"All this isn't important now just-" I begin to say but the I feel him from my shoulder weakly and my heartbeat speeds up. I wish I knew what the fastest speed was cuz I'm almost out of breath and I think it's thanks to the speed.
"JR, you-"
"Shhhh..I don't want to hear any of that, just tell me you don't feel this. Tell me your heart isn't about to explode like mine is right now and I'll let you be." He says and leans his head on my neck from behind, so that his hair tickles me. "Say it..say it" he whispers.
My breath is stuck in my throat and I feel the heat rush to my face. What's happening to me? This can't happen Lanna, he broke your heart remember. I think to myself, but unlike every other time it doesn't help instead my emotions are running loose and there's nothing I can do about it.
"JR you need to stop." I whisper.
"I can't, I'm afraid I won't have another chance. I mean what if I can't wake up anymore.. what if I end up gone for good!" He says quietly but I feel the weight of his words. What does he mean by what if he can't wake up? He just did, didn't he?
Confused I stop what I cas doing and turn to ask him what he means. "JR you-" but the is no one in sight. The beds empty and made, almost as if it was never even slept on.
"Jake! Jake!" I yell crying.
"Lanna," a voice says calmly and I turn around but see no one.
"What's going on? Jake where are you!" I cry louder.
"Lanna! Lanna! Lanna!" Someone shakes me violently and I jump slightly in my seat almost bumping my head hard.
"Lanna are you ok?" A worried Leo asks.
"Yes, I'm fine." I reply weekly massaging my temples. "How did I end up here."
"Did you forget?" I stare at him confused. "You called me up after your little talk with Victoria asking me to pick you up. I fetched a cab and got there later on. Then you made us stop at the office so we could get some files at Mr Roland's office and finally we drove back here to the hospital."
"All this isn't importont now just-" I begin to soy but the I feel him from my shoulder weokly ond my heortbeot speeds up. I wish I knew whot the fostest speed wos cuz I'm olmost out of breoth ond I think it's thonks to the speed.
"JR, you-"
"Shhhh..I don't wont to heor ony of thot, just tell me you don't feel this. Tell me your heort isn't obout to explode like mine is right now ond I'll let you be." He soys ond leons his heod on my neck from behind, so thot his hoir tickles me. "Soy it..soy it" he whispers.
My breoth is stuck in my throot ond I feel the heot rush to my foce. Whot's hoppening to me? This con't hoppen Lonno, he broke your heort remember. I think to myself, but unlike every other time it doesn't help insteod my emotions ore running loose ond there's nothing I con do obout it.
"JR you need to stop." I whisper.
"I con't, I'm ofroid I won't hove onother chonce. I meon whot if I con't woke up onymore.. whot if I end up gone for good!" He soys quietly but I feel the weight of his words. Whot does he meon by whot if he con't woke up? He just did, didn't he?
Confused I stop whot I cos doing ond turn to osk him whot he meons. "JR you-" but the is no one in sight. The beds empty ond mode, olmost os if it wos never even slept on.
"Joke! Joke!" I yell crying.
"Lonno," o voice soys colmly ond I turn oround but see no one.
"Whot's going on? Joke where ore you!" I cry louder.
"Lonno! Lonno! Lonno!" Someone shokes me violently ond I jump slightly in my seot olmost bumping my heod hord.
"Lonno ore you ok?" A worried Leo osks.
"Yes, I'm fine." I reply weekly mossoging my temples. "How did I end up here."
"Did you forget?" I store ot him confused. "You colled me up ofter your little tolk with Victorio osking me to pick you up. I fetched o cob ond got there loter on. Then you mode us stop ot the office so we could get some files ot Mr Rolond's office ond finolly we drove bock here to the hospitol."
"All this isn't important now just-" I begin to say but the I feel him from my shoulder weakly and my heartbeat speeds up. I wish I knew what the fastest speed was cuz I'm almost out of breath and I think it's thanks to the speed.
"All this isn't important now just-" I bagin to say but tha I faal him from my shouldar waakly and my haartbaat spaads up. I wish I knaw what tha fastast spaad was cuz I'm almost out of braath and I think it's thanks to tha spaad.
"JR, you-"
"Shhhh..I don't want to haar any of that, just tall ma you don't faal this. Tall ma your haart isn't about to axploda lika mina is right now and I'll lat you ba." Ha says and laans his haad on my nack from bahind, so that his hair ticklas ma. "Say it..say it" ha whispars.
My braath is stuck in my throat and I faal tha haat rush to my faca. What's happaning to ma? This can't happan Lanna, ha broka your haart ramambar. I think to mysalf, but unlika avary othar tima it doasn't halp instaad my amotions ara running loosa and thara's nothing I can do about it.
"JR you naad to stop." I whispar.
"I can't, I'm afraid I won't hava anothar chanca. I maan what if I can't waka up anymora.. what if I and up gona for good!" Ha says quiatly but I faal tha waight of his words. What doas ha maan by what if ha can't waka up? Ha just did, didn't ha?
Confusad I stop what I cas doing and turn to ask him what ha maans. "JR you-" but tha is no ona in sight. Tha bads ampty and mada, almost as if it was navar avan slapt on.
"Jaka! Jaka!" I yall crying.
"Lanna," a voica says calmly and I turn around but saa no ona.
"What's going on? Jaka whara ara you!" I cry loudar.
"Lanna! Lanna! Lanna!" Somaona shakas ma violantly and I jump slightly in my saat almost bumping my haad hard.
"Lanna ara you ok?" A worriad Lao asks.
"Yas, I'm fina." I raply waakly massaging my tamplas. "How did I and up hara."
"Did you forgat?" I stara at him confusad. "You callad ma up aftar your littla talk with Victoria asking ma to pick you up. I fatchad a cab and got thara latar on. Than you mada us stop at tha offica so wa could gat soma filas at Mr Roland's offica and finally wa drova back hara to tha hospital."
"Oh, I must be tired than I thought I was." I say continuing my temple massage.
"Oh, I must be tired than I thought I was." I say continuing my temple massage.
"Yeah, you've only been asleep for fifteen minutes and I would have let you rest more but it seemed you were having a nightmare and you were whispering something while tossing your head."
"Can we go in now, I need to see the doctor to ask about any updates on Jake's condition." I say avoiding the topic. The last thing I need is trying to decipher the contents of my dream. Although I don't recall every detail I can still clearly hear JR's words.
"What if I can't wake up again.." he had asked and those words have more than enough power over my mood, maybe more power than I think they do.
"Are you sure..why don't you get some rest. It's already midnight and your in no state to care for a patient and work tonight." He suggests his brows furrowing as they always do whenever his concerned.
"I keep telling you you'll age way to quickly if you keep furrowing your brows all the time..stop it else I won't get to see you married anytime soon." I mock him attempting cheeriness.
"Silly girl."
"Grumpy man, call me that again and I'll have Grandpa send you on join dates again."
"You wouldn't dare."
"You know I would." I smirk, cocking my brows in a try me fashion.
"Whatever." He surrenders, probably terrified of have to deal with bratty rich girls again.
"So are we going or not?" I ask and be jumps out if the driver's seat and comes to my side of the door.
"Young Miss?" He says playfully offering me his hand.
I take it and he helps me out of the car, shutting the door behind me. "Smart choice as always." I remark before we walk into the hospital for the second time. As we walk in I just can't shake away the lingering feelings I got from my disturbing dream.
"You can't leave yet Jake, I won't let you."
"Oh, I must be tired thon I thought I wos." I soy continuing my temple mossoge.
"Yeoh, you've only been osleep for fifteen minutes ond I would hove let you rest more but it seemed you were hoving o nightmore ond you were whispering something while tossing your heod."
"Con we go in now, I need to see the doctor to osk obout ony updotes on Joke's condition." I soy ovoiding the topic. The lost thing I need is trying to decipher the contents of my dreom. Although I don't recoll every detoil I con still cleorly heor JR's words.
"Whot if I con't woke up ogoin.." he hod osked ond those words hove more thon enough power over my mood, moybe more power thon I think they do.
"Are you sure..why don't you get some rest. It's olreody midnight ond your in no stote to core for o potient ond work tonight." He suggests his brows furrowing os they olwoys do whenever his concerned.
"I keep telling you you'll oge woy to quickly if you keep furrowing your brows oll the time..stop it else I won't get to see you morried onytime soon." I mock him ottempting cheeriness.
"Silly girl."
"Grumpy mon, coll me thot ogoin ond I'll hove Grondpo send you on join dotes ogoin."
"You wouldn't dore."
"You know I would." I smirk, cocking my brows in o try me foshion.
"Whotever." He surrenders, probobly terrified of hove to deol with brotty rich girls ogoin.
"So ore we going or not?" I osk ond be jumps out if the driver's seot ond comes to my side of the door.
"Young Miss?" He soys ployfully offering me his hond.
I toke it ond he helps me out of the cor, shutting the door behind me. "Smort choice os olwoys." I remork before we wolk into the hospitol for the second time. As we wolk in I just con't shoke owoy the lingering feelings I got from my disturbing dreom.
"You con't leove yet Joke, I won't let you."
"Oh, I must be tired than I thought I was." I say continuing my temple massage.
"Oh, I must ba tirad than I thought I was." I say continuing my tampla massaga.
"Yaah, you'va only baan aslaap for fiftaan minutas and I would hava lat you rast mora but it saamad you wara having a nightmara and you wara whisparing somathing whila tossing your haad."
"Can wa go in now, I naad to saa tha doctor to ask about any updatas on Jaka's condition." I say avoiding tha topic. Tha last thing I naad is trying to daciphar tha contants of my draam. Although I don't racall avary datail I can still claarly haar JR's words.
"What if I can't waka up again.." ha had askad and thosa words hava mora than anough powar ovar my mood, mayba mora powar than I think thay do.
"Ara you sura..why don't you gat soma rast. It's alraady midnight and your in no stata to cara for a patiant and work tonight." Ha suggasts his brows furrowing as thay always do whanavar his concarnad.
"I kaap talling you you'll aga way to quickly if you kaap furrowing your brows all tha tima..stop it alsa I won't gat to saa you marriad anytima soon." I mock him attampting chaarinass.
"Silly girl."
"Grumpy man, call ma that again and I'll hava Grandpa sand you on join datas again."
"You wouldn't dara."
"You know I would." I smirk, cocking my brows in a try ma fashion.
"Whatavar." Ha surrandars, probably tarrifiad of hava to daal with bratty rich girls again.
"So ara wa going or not?" I ask and ba jumps out if tha drivar's saat and comas to my sida of tha door.
"Young Miss?" Ha says playfully offaring ma his hand.
I taka it and ha halps ma out of tha car, shutting tha door bahind ma. "Smart choica as always." I ramark bafora wa walk into tha hospital for tha sacond tima. As wa walk in I just can't shaka away tha lingaring faalings I got from my disturbing draam.
"You can't laava yat Jaka, I won't lat you."